Dear Good Shepherd and friends,
Here's what I'd like to see someday on fb, instagram, twitter, snapchat, or whatever popular social media platform people are using:
Just got done yelling at my wife/husband. We don't normally connect very well, to be honest. He/she doesn't always make all my dreams come true. And I rushed the kids out the door again this morning. Couldn't wait for them to be out of the house. Today is 80% frustration, 20% enjoyment. #notblessed
I'd like it to be a real post. With the messy house in the background. No staged stuff. Not a manufactured bad day post. Nor do I want it to be the type of post that makes being imperfect a badge of honor. It's not that I want people's lives to be difficult. What I'm getting at is that we seldom see real posts that are not afraid to be raw and honest, and not filtered or posed, posts that actually don't try to make one's life seem all happy all the time.
Let's be brutally honest: we're not all happy all the time. But, on the other hand, being imperfect is not a badge of honor. That seems to be the other extreme. Sometimes the opposite mentality seems to be something like: We're not always happy or perfect, so let's celebrate being imperfect as if that's all we can to. In our culture, we've somehow trapped ourselves between two extremes, and neither of them is good. Maybe we should just stop chasing "happiness." (Note, I'm not saying stop being happy. I'm saying stop chasing it as if it's what we live for.) On the other hand, maybe we should also stop with this obsession over being "perfect"-- whether chasing it or avoiding it. We need less black-and-white, dichotomous thinking. Let's just be real, can't we?
Studies show that with social media, we're manufacturing ourselves into ideals we don't actually live up to, and it's weighing on our conscience and self-esteem. We're manufacturing ourselves into a corner where we can't even be real and honest with ourselves, afraid our real self will let down our social media self.
We're honest with struggles like illness, tragedies, unfortunate events. But, we can seldom be honest with who we really are when no one is looking. We want people to see some version of ourselves, and while it might be who we are sometimes or who we want to be, it's not who we really are. Same with our kids. We're often showing versions of our kids, maybe even accidentally teaching them to avoid who they really are in the process, too.
Statistics show that this is more of an issue for women and young adults (both genders) than it is for adult males. But, nevertheless, it's a problem in the air of our now world-wide social media culture for all people.
It's a really sad state of affairs. And it's not just a social medial problem. Social media only magnifies what's already a reality for us. But, in doing so, I wonder what it's doing to the quality of our lives and our own perceptions of ourselves. I wonder, too, if it keeps us from closeness to God even more. I mean, if I don't even like my real self enough to show it to the public, why would I think God likes me?
More questions arise: Do I feel like I need to turn my mundane experiences into something "likeable"? Or, worse, Am I bored with the moments of living that are not worth sharing on social media? Am I actually bored with living life, if it's not social media worthy?
Or, am I inadvertently creating in my mind some standard that does not allow the freedom to be real?
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Jesus is not looking for facebook moments. In fact, I suspect that he's wanting to embrace the anxiety-ridden, fear-driven person behind the social media images and other ways we try to fabricate ourselves. He knows us. He's just waiting for us to acknowledge ourselves, too.
Everything in the stories about Jesus' life in the gospels points to a Jesus who was actually looking for the moments and experiences where there was nothing "likeable." He found his way into the human mess, where there were no thumbs-up, no Mick Jagger-like pursed lips, no second and third take photos to get the lighting and smile "just right." Jesus loves our moments of joy and happiness. But, more than that, he loves us as we are, even when we're still and doing nothing special.
He's not looking for people to impress him. In fact, the more people tried to impress him, the less impressed he was. No one Jesus encountered had to be anything other than themselves, unfiltered.
Consider Peter. Stumbling visibly, misunderstanding Jesus in front of all the other disciples. Being rebuked by Jesus. Failing to walk on water (at least he tried). Denying he even knew Jesus to save his reputation. Three times. Yet, Jesus still asked him to be a voice for God's message of goodness in the world. God doesn't want perfect people who don't fail. He wants us as we are.
Remember the woman at the well in John 4? She was alone. No one else thought she was worth spending time with. Everyone knew her messed-up story. There was nothing to be proud of. Jesus didn't care. He knew. He even told her he knew. Who she was was out in the open. He saw through all of that and spoke to her as someone made to reflect God's image. She had pretty much given up on that. Jesus did not.
How about Zacchaeus? No one liked him. He made his living through dishonest practices that took money from people. There was very little to be proud of. His true identity was public. Everyone knew. Jesus still wanted to be his friend, to have dinner with him and his other not-so-trustworthy friends. God came into his living room because God sees beneath even our selfish life decisions or image others might not like very much.
Think of Paul. Arrogant, know it all. He refused to believe who Jesus was, and hated everyone who followed the way of Jesus. Jesus found him, too. In fact, his refusal to believe who Jesus was was no problem to Jesus. Not believing doesn't make God go away. Beneath his pride and power-hungry ways, God knew there was an individual crying out for truth and freedom from himself.
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How about you?
God knows you.
The Spirit of Jesus is present in your mess. You don't need to filter it, hide from it, or ignore it. Don't ever think God is not present in your life, or that God does not care about you because you don't have it all together or don't think your real self won't get very many likes. God is no less present in your mess than he was at Jesus' resurrection.
In fact, the resurrection happened in a graveyard.
Our real selves is what God likes. Not the fabricated image we want people to see. It is very likely that God will just bring it all out in the open anyway. Just own who you are and trust that it does not push God away. You don't need to make yourself look better. But don't just stop there, either, as if to say, "This is who I am, and I'm not changing."
Jesus will transform who you are. Expect it. None of us is what we're meant to be. Just admit to that. But don't cover up who you are and ignore it. Be honest with it. God gets down to who you really are and resurrects it into something very good, restored to our true selves made to reflect his image. But he can't unless you're honest with who you really are first. He already knows what's beneath all of that stuff. Sometimes we can't see what God's actually made us to be because we've been so busy covering it up and hiding from it.
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So...take a step with this.
Focus on the story of Jesus and the woman at the well in John 4, or of Zacchaeus in Luke 19.
Pause in your less-than-ideal moments. Pause when you feel like you need to send out a manufactured version of yourself or be less than real about who you are.
Remind yourself and others that God doesn't need you to try to impress him or others. Who you are is made in the image of the creator.
Find peace trusting that God will transform and use your real self for his goodness.
Let the reality of Jesus' presence transform how you see yourself and others, even in the most mundane, imperfect moments.
In defiant hope,
Pastor Kyle
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